The Seeds of Authenticity - what lies beneath…
As we stand at the threshold of a new year, I find myself returning to a simple question:
What feels true? And what feels noisy?
There is so much collective input right now—opinions, urgency, pressure to “be better,” “do more,” or finally figure ourselves out. On top of this, the social political climate continues to heavily impact many people.
Amid all the noise, authenticity doesn’t arrive through force. It arrives through slowing down and listening. It arrives through the acknowledgement of what's here, contacting our honest feelings, and using our voice from that honest place. Sometimes we need support with this.
Many of us have emotions we know well—ones we can access quickly and often. Sadness, grief, worry, even anger. These emotions aren’t wrong. But sometimes, they function more like strategies than pathways to wholeness.
You might ask yourself:
Does this emotion move like a wave—rising, peaking, and then bringing relief?
Does it feel fortifying or clarifying?
Or do I find myself cycling here again and again, without much change over time?
If you notice repetition without relief, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It may simply mean that this familiar emotion is protecting you from something more vulnerable underneath—something you once learned wasn’t safe to feel.
There are many perspectives out there that praise big, cathartic emotional releases. However, without getting to the root, this can encourage the familiar layer of the protection to become more entrenched.
And while an honest, big cathartic release is possible, and can be very healing; often what’s most therapeutic and effective over time are smaller, titrated releases of the more vulnerable, underlying emotions.
When we move toward vulnerability too fast without adequate established safety, our intelligent protections grip harder.
As we enter a new year, I invite you to listen gently.
What emotions feel most familiar?
Which ones feel distant, foggy, or hard to access?
These questions aren’t meant to be answered all at once. They are seeds. And when tended slowly, with honesty and care, they begin to reveal what is true beneath the noise.
There are emotions under emotions—layers shaped by culture, identity, and lived experience. Many women and femmes, for example, have learned that sadness is acceptable, while anger is not. Others may feel anger readily, while fear or grief remain buried.
For a long time, I had easy access to grief and empathy. What I didn’t have access to was anger. When that shifted—slowly and with support—I found clarity and power.
I found a stronger sense of what was true. I found my voice. And I found myself letting go of a few relationships that were not healthy.
You may find grief beneath the anger. Fear beneath the clarity. This is how the body works—not in straight lines, but in layers.
When vulnerable emotions don’t feel safe, the nervous system adapts. We develop automatic protections:
Staying busy
Overworking
Dissociating
Addictions
Managing symptoms
Cycling through familiar emotional states
Chronic pain and chronic illness
These strategies often show up in the body—as tension, pain, numbness, or chronic symptoms. They are not failures. They are intelligent responses to overwhelm.
Rather than asking, “How do I get rid of this?”
A more honest question might be, “What is this protecting me from?”
Authenticity doesn’t come from "letting go" of these protections. It comes from meeting them with curiosity and respect. We likely wouldn’t still be here with the degree of functionality we have without them. They are often begging to be seen, understood, honored, and supported in their efforts.
I encourage you on this New Year's Eve to greet yourself, just as you are, with honesty and tenderness.
And if you need support, I would love to work with you.
